I grew up believing that it was not only okay to be a boy, it was also safer to be a boy. Boys, I thought, didn’t get raped or beaten by their spouses. And boys grew up to be men. Men had careers but could still be playful. Girls, if they had children, become women. Women, had to sacrifice and accommodate. Becoming a woman/mother meant losing your sense of self, whereas men were always developing their senses of self. It was continuous. Men were always in the process of becoming men. Women were always being identified by how they were in relation to others. I grew up wanting to play shortstop for the Boston Red Sox. When I was prepubescent this was considered cute and something I was grow out of. Soon, it was expected, my longing to be a mother, which I read as to stop having fun, would kick in and I would relinquish my boyish ways.
